breathing without him
by symphonies of you
Summary: Lily and Lysander had always been together from the start. Then, they fell in love. And then, the imperfections in life began. One-shot. Song-fic: Breathe by Taylor Swift.


Hey, (hopefully reviewers) readers! I usually don't ship Lilysander, but I got inspired to write this while running. The words actually came right to me. But as this one-shot progressed on, it got slightly harder to write. As I kept listening to Breathe by Taylor Swift, the words eventually came to me. So here it is! I think it actually turned out nice.

[The lyrics are in _italics_, and my words are in regular form.]

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything mentioned in this one-shot (obviously and sadly). The song belongs to Taylor Swift, and the characters belong to JKR.**

Song: Breathe by Taylor Swift

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><p><em>Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.<br>Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.  
>But people are people,<br>And sometimes it doesn't work out,  
>Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.<em>

She had been perfectly content with her life with Lysander. Her best friend, her boyfriend, her _life_. They were the perfect couple—always smiling, lost in each other, depending on each other for everything. Then countless arguments began to trickle into their lives. They started to bicker about every little detail, every little mistake, every little fragment of life. _Everything_. They hurt each other severely. They started to talk less and less. They started to avoid being alone together in an empty room. They started to dread the sight of each other. She began to wonder if Ly was the one for her. She began to hope life wasn't a mistake and that maybe they could start over. But he became more distant, colder, emotionless. His face, when turned towards her, was devoid of expression. His blue-green eyes, which used to be so _full of life_, shone with no excitement or feeling. She missed giggling with him at the silliest things. She missed gazing deeply into his ocean-like eyes and getting lost in the entrancing depths of the blue-green. She missed the way he kissed her, touching her lightly and tenderly as if she would break any second. She missed watching the way his hands moved whenever they were talking, the way he dimpled a little on his right cheek, the way his messy blond hair fell into his eyes. She missed all the little things about him. She missed everything about him that didn't seem to exist any longer.

_And we know it's never simple,_  
><em>Never easy.<em>  
><em>Never a clean break, no one here to save me.<em>  
><em>You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand<em>

She figured out life wasn't as simple as she thought. She had assumed that life was a clean break full of _possibilities_ and that nothing would be able to break her heart so easily. She had believed nothing would come between Lysander and her because she believed in true love. But life shattered her heart and mind into millions of pieces. She wasn't repairable because she lost Ly, who was the only thing she knew so well like the back of her hand. She knew everything about him—his favorite story as a child, the reason he was always so determined to prove himself the _best_ at everything, his fears, his weaknesses, his strengths. Nothing came easy. Everything came clashing hard. Everything seemed to be against her. Oh, why did life hate her so?

_And I can't,_  
><em>Breathe,<em>  
><em>Without you,<em>  
><em>But I have to,<em>  
><em>Breathe,<em>  
><em>Without you,<em>  
><em>But I have to.<em>

She thought she wouldn't be able to survive without him. He was her everything every single second of her fifteen years of life. Now, he was simply gone. Evicted. Removed from her former life that used to be full of _him_. Every moment, every minute, every second of her life had been spent with him. Laughing, playing and frolicking together as children, completing essays, walking to and from classes. Walking hand in hand along the beach when they were together. Lily and Lysander. Those memories were now simply just trying to be forgotten and ignored. When Ly's name was mentioned, tears ran down her face in tiny rivulets, and those memories broke her heart again and again, just when she thought it healed. She couldn't _breathe_ her life without him. She couldn't inhale and exhale without Ly around her. She couldn't take in oxygen without his familiar scent of pine and cinnamon lingering around her. It was simply impossible for her to live without him. Life was utterly, without a single doubt, impossible without Ly. But she had to survive for the rest of her family. Without her best friend, her _ex-boyfriend_. She still considered Lysander her best friend. Because life couldn't be measured complete without him.

_It's two a.m._  
><em>Feelin' like I just lost a friend.<em>  
><em>Hope you know it's not easy,<em>  
><em>Easy for me.<em>  
><em>It's two a.m.<em>  
><em>Feelin' like I just lost a friend.<em>  
><em>Hope you know this ain't easy,<em>  
><em>Easy for me.<em>

If you told her a year ago that Ly would be gone from her life one day, she would've scoffed and laughed at the idea of Ly being woefully absent from her presence. It was simply _unimaginable_. It was unimaginable to everyone. They were always seen together, inseparable, always complementing each other in every way. They were happy together. They were sad together. They used to be together. They used to be one. They used to be _lilyandlysander_. But everything changed so abruptly. It wasn't easy to go on living without Ly in her life because he used to be constantly at her side. He used to be her shoulder to cry on whenever she was drowning in her endless tears. It was two in the morning, and she had woken up with wobbly tears sliding down her face. She wished Lysander was there to comfort and soothe her in her hurt and despondency. She felt like half of her was missing. Her body was torn at the seams; half of her was ripped from her body unwillingly, leaving behind permanent scars and gashes that wouldn't be healed. She hoped it wasn't easy for her Ly, too.

_And we know it's never simple,_  
><em>Never easy.<em>  
><em>Never a clean break, no one here to save me.<em>

_Ohhh_

_I can't,_  
><em>Breathe,<em>  
><em>Without you,<em>  
><em>But I have to,<em>  
><em>Breathe,<em>  
><em>Without you,<em>  
><em>But I have to.<em>

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><p><strong><em>AN: So, how was it? I think there might've been a few grammar mistakes here and there. But overall, I think it is kind of decent. I, for some unknown reason, love writing depressing sob stories. So this was Lily and Lysander for any of you Lilysander shippers out there. _**

**_Review please? I'll give you a virtual cookie because reviews inspire me and make my day!_**

**_And let me know about the grammar mistakes that you see!_**

**_~muSicLuHvER(:_**


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